Greetings to you wherever you are in the world
Here in Queensland it feels like Autumn is hanging on for all its worth. Possibly because it is still raining and it feels like it hasn’t had a fair turn to… turn.
If you’re a regular follower of my newsletters, you may have noticed I kind of missed April. Apologies. These past two months have been a roller coaster… I feel I have been swimming through a veritable tsunami of emotional washing machines with highs and lows, ins and outs, comings and goings, and at times, over and outs.
Profits, losses, ups & downs
It was with the heaviest, shattered, permanently scarred heart we farewelled the red dog (my best mate, Dusty), I fell prey to, tussled feverishly with, and eventually overcame the black dog (my life long sojourner), and adopted an energetic, bundle of tricolour joy (my new walking companion, Collie x Kelpie, Scout).
I’m confident my grief was not the trigger for falling back into the cave, but it was definitely a contributing factor. I had been continuing with fasting, sitting with God in a daily Sabbath: a time of worship, prayer, confession and listening. It has become a daily highlight and (dare I say) a new addiction. But a good one.
Through this process He was digging up a lot of things I was working very hard (gold medal heal-digger here) at keeping buried. It was a tumultuous time creating more grief as I had to confront some ugly truths, bring them into the light, allow His healing, then put them to rest so I could move on.
The Bluest farewell to my Red Boy
In the middle of this, Dusty was diagnosed with extensive, inoperable cancer. However, since he was part Kelpie, he hid his pain and suffering and we had no idea until the end. His decline was rapid and, as soon as we learned of how bad it was, we let him go in peace.
Added to this, I felt, no matter how hard I tried to clear my desk, and reduce my workload, it just kept breeding… before my eyes… no matter how much I said, “Sorry, I can’t do that.” It was like mould… or a virus… and it had me pinned to the mat. So much so, when my friends invited me to join them for a lovely dinner, I completely lost the plot. How could I possibly fit one more thing in?
Not even close to coping
It was at this point I realised I was not coping.
I may be stubborn.
I may be creative.
I may even be pretty good at thinking on my feet.
But it has been proven time and again, I am not necessarily the brightest tool in the picnic hamper.
Time Out!
I declared “Time Out!” and cancelled everything for two days. Then I sat before God and handed over (by that I mean, “flung” like a toddler throwing toys out fo the crib in an epic tantrum) everything on my plate: work related, volunteer related, dream related and family related, until the slate was sparkly clean. For the first time in weeks, I felt I could breathe deeply.
Next, I waited to see what God handed back to me. I was in such a state, I had already mentally penned resignations to everything and everyone. Funnily enough though, when God had finished with my rescheduling, I didn’t have to send any of those letters. I was able to edit them to become amendments to the current status quo.
During my Sabbath times each morning—after my worship, prayer and confession—I have been absolutely blessed with morsels, tints and glimpses of images, encouragement and prompts on what to do and how to do it. I have been blessed with a calmer more rational (Yes! Can you believe it? My husband is both impressed and grateful) perspective and, every day… I can breathe.
Changes
One of the most mind-shifitng revelations I have received has been a clearer understanding of God’s love. This really does change things.
All things.
Every… thing.
How about you? Have you ever received a mind-shifiting revelation?
I’d be interested in hearing your thoughts.
In other news, despite the wet hanging around into Autumn,
- I have made a decision to rearrange the schedule of my current book. I will finish the complete draft of book 5 in a day or two. Then for the month of June I will spit (minus the salivary bits) and polish the draft to within an inch of its absolute best. Then send it to my editor and Beta readers.
- My two classes from Lowood’s Extended Writers Program are shuffling and settling. It normally takes a few months (and assessments) to sort out who really is interested in writing.
- The Somerset writers Group continues to meet monthly. The Bonus Content for this month was my contribution for March.
Enough about me, how has your April/May applied itself?
Read on to find links to the month that was.
- Info about the books: You can find them all here.
- From the Blog: Christian Foundations – Daniel 5: Implicit Intimacy and 6: No Compromise
- Links to the podcast: Yes, the Gracewriters podcast
- Bonus Content: Scissors Paper Rock: a short story
- Shots of the month: Photography, not weaponry
PS: All typos are my gift to you. They are evidence of an authentic, original newsletter, written with my own typo-prolific fingers : )
